


you're no lover

by orphan_account



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 02:49:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15500655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ernst crushing on hanschen and being kinda lonely





	you're no lover

**Author's Note:**

> keep in mind im keeping their original age so theyre all angsty 14 and 15 year olds

_new text from ass-chior_

Still makes me chuckle. He only has my number because we had to work on a History project together. What does he want now  though? 

_ass-chior: Pool party at my place at 7!!! Bring snacks. Parents aren't here. Sent to all_

Oh. He probably doesn't really want me there. I don't have snacks, so what's the point of going? Plus my mom would kill me if she found out I went night swimming with no adults around. 

_♡crush♡: you made a groupchat. you don't have to add 'sent to all'_

I didn't even notice that. But a groupchat with both Melchior and Hanschen? That won't be great. They're both asshats. Well, I wouldn't say Hanschen's an asshat. Maybe just full of himself sometimes. 

_cheezit: I won't be their._

_ass-chior: there*_

_otto: guys dont bring any peanut snacks im allergic_

Does everyone actually plan on going to his pool party? I'm sure it won't be fun. 

Then again, everyone will be able to see Hanschen shirtless. 

Whatever, there'll be a bunch of pictures on instagram tomorrow. 

_wendla♡♡: that sounds fun! do you have any cute floaties?_

I would delete the hearts, but she wanted them by her name because the hearts are cute. 

_unknown number: I can bring some, I have some in my garage_

_bObBy: bet you'll blow them up too_

That's my cue to leave the groupchat. 

I go on instagram and stalk Hanschen's account. It sounds creepy, but it's not! He posts cute snapchat selfies. 

I don't really post anything on my account. Just the occasional picture of the grass or a sunset. 

_new message from wendla ♡♡_

_wendla♡♡: i guess you aren't going :c_

_me: You guessed right_

_wendla♡♡: it's for your own good. look at this.._

She sends me a screenshot of the groupchat. 

[ _Bobby Maler: the saint left lol_

_☆♡☆Ilse☆♡☆: I'm sure he just doesn't want to be around three definitions of pretentious._

_Hanschen Rilow: what? me, melchior, and bobby?_

_~Melchior~: I'm not pretentious. Also, he wouldn't even do anything at the party but scold us like he's our mom_

_Hanschen Rilow: youre the most pretentious of the three of us. ]_

I really wish she hadn't sent me that. 

_me: lol_

Sometimes, I feel so alone. I mean, I am alone, there's not someone right beside me, but I feel lonely inside. That doesn't really make sense.. 

I decide to text Georg, because, well, why not?

_me: Hey are u going to the pool party_

_georg: I wasn't invited_

_me: Oh_

_georg: What pool party? Tell me details_

_me: It rlly doesnt matter_

_georg: I'm curious now_

_me: Ask melchior_

_georg: Like i wanna talk to him_

_me: OK fine_

_me: Melchior is having a pool party at 7. Like everyone is going_

_georg: I'm not_

_me: I know_

_georg: You said everyone lol_

_me: I know_

_georg: Are you going_

_me: No_

_georg: Let's crash_

_me: I cant_

_georg: Why?_

_me: My mom wont let me_

_georg: Sneak out_

Sneak out? I definitely can't do that. Georg is out of his mind. 

_georg: You're boring_

I'm not boring. Am I? I'm not. I just obey the rules. 

"Ernst! Your friend is here."

I forgot about that. I overheard Hanschen saying that he was failing Algebra. So I told him I could help him with homework. 

I set my phone down beside me and look at him as he walks through the door. 

"Hey." He sits down on my beanbag. 

"Um, hey." 

I feel like my heart is about to burst out of my chest. 

 

Everytime I catch a glance at his lips, I imagine them touching mine, and our tongues in each other mouths. 

And some other things. Like, him being shirtless. But me being shirtless too. And we would be kissing, and not thinking about anything else. 

"Ernst?"

"Oh, yeah. Algebra." 

"Yeah. Why aren't you going to the pool party?" 

"That's not.. algebra." 

"Fine. Let's talk about algebra then." He grabs a piece of paper from his backpack and hands it to me. 

Our fingertips touch for a tiny moment and I'm screaming inside. 

"This is just reviewing negative variables." 

He bites his lip, and I know that's something he does when he's confused or nervous. 

Yeah. Everyone thinks he never gets nervous. But I've been watching him for a while. That sounded creepy. It's not. 

"I know that, Ernst."

"Why don't you just.. Google it?" 

"You're the one that offered to help." 

"I know, but I thought it would be.. I thought it would be something different." 

"Then I'll Google it." 

"I'm.. I'm sorry." 

I hate myself. 

"It's fine. Now, tell me. Why aren't you going to the pool party? It'll be fun." 

"I can't go. My mom won't let me." 

"You could--" 

"I'm not sneaking out. Or lying." I slouch. 

"Mama's boy?"

"Huh? No." I am not a.. mama's boy. What a rude thing to say. 

"You totally are." 

"Am not." 

"Yeah, you are." 

I'm too busy staring down at my knees to notice our faces are like, two inches away from each other. 

"Uh.. no." 

"Can I try something?" 

"Try what?" 

"This."

I guess he kissed me, because now our lips are touching. And I'm kissing him. And we're kissing. 

"What was that?" I pull away, but I wish I didn't. 

"What do you mean?" He raises a brow. 

"I mean, why?" 

"Why what?" 

Okay, now he's just messing with me. Not nice. 

"Why did you kiss me?" 

"I wanted to try something." He smirks and it makes me want to kiss him again. 

"You're my first kiss." 

"That explains why you're blushing so much." 

"What? I am?"

I feel my face, and it is kinda warm. 

I look at his lips and kiss him again. This time, his arms are around my neck and his hands are resting on the back of my neck. 

My hands? On his hips. I didn't do that on purpose, obviously. 

"Shit, Ernst." 

"What?" 

"It's almost seven." 

"Oh, yeah. You have to go to that thing."

"Come with me. I'll tell your mom that I forgot something at my house."

"No, it's fine. I wouldn't have fun." 

"Are you sure?" 

"I'm sure." 

 He stays put for a moment then gets up. 

"I'll see you tomorrow?" 

"Yeah." 

He shuts the door behind him. 

He's gone. 

I can still feel his lips on mine.

* * *

I fell asleep at about eleven last night, but I woke up early. 

_new texts from ass-chior_

_new texts from wendla♡♡_

_new text from georg_

_new texts from otto_

Jeez. Guess I should've stayed up later. 

_ass-chior: Hanschen told us about you and him_

_2 hours later_

_ass-chior: Ernst, pick up._

_ass-chior: Ernst, it's important._

 

_wendla♡♡: ernst_

_wendla♡♡: please answer my calls_

Why did everybody wanna get a hold of me? Did Melchior's cat die or something?

That would actually really suck. She's a cute cat. 

_georg: Hanschen's in the hospital_

What? 

Fuck.

He got hurt. 

Hanschen got hurt.

I should've gone with him

I hope he's okay now. 

_otto: you kissed hanschen? gay_

_otto: i'm joking please dont block my number_

 

I call Wendla and she picks up immediately. 

"Ernst, finally." 

"What happened? Is Hanschen okay?"

"He got mugged." 

"What? Why would anybody mug a fifteen year old?" 

"That's what I said, but he does look like a rich kid." 

"You sound like you're crying. Or you were. Are you okay? Is Hanschen okay?" 

"I'm fine, but.."

I feel my heart sink. 

"Hanschen got stabbed." 

I feel tears forming in my eyes and I just let them come out. He's okay though.

I think he's okay.

"Is he okay?" 

Silence. 

"Wendla."

Why isn't she answering?

"Ernst.." She sounds like shes sobbing.

"What? What happened? Tell me!" 

"He's dead." 

Dead? This is a joke. It has to be. Wendla's a good actress, she could easily fake cry. 

"This isn't funny." 

"It isn't." 

I should've went with him. I should've been there to protect him. I could've done anything to stop this. 

"Ernst?" 

I hang up. 

I can't stop myself from sobbing. 

He can't be dead.

I just got him.

No. 

He can't be dead. I won't believe it for a second. But Wendla would never do that, would she? 

She's too nice. 

I could've done something. I should've. I shouldn't have ignored Melchior's calls. I could've let him take me to that stupid pool party. 

I was too selfish. I thought, I'll be made fun of if I go. I should've thought of Hanschen. 

I should've made him stay at my house. We could've kept kissing and laughing together. We could've.. 

Cuddled. 

I could've had one more second of his lips on mine. 

I punch the wall. 

I hate this. I hate  _myself_. This is completely my fault. Everyone will say that it's not, but it is. 

It really, really is. 

I can't stop crying. 

I wonder what his last thought was.

What his last word was.

I could've been there. 

I hear my phone ringing, but there's no way in hell I am answering it. 

I lean my head against the dent I made in the wall and let myself cry.

Because there's nothing I can do. 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry you had to read that. kudos and comments are Very appreciated <3


End file.
